One of the more unexpected things about my service here, is how many different places I can be in one work week. On my way to meet up with dad and the family at the airport, I spent a night in Managua to go to the physical therapist and get a check up on my ankle. The Physical 's office was some kind of mansion in Manauga. Sitting in that office waiting to be seen, with fancy shiny cars parked outside, I remember thinking "yesterday, I was in the campo watching the baby calves pass by my house, I can't believe I am in the same country!"
I had this same out of place feeling on the trip to Corn Island. The Atlantic coast alone is a world apart, it is a different culture, a different language (where the main language is Creole in most parts) and it felt like i had travelled to a different country. I found myself feeling very un-equiped to steer Dad and the family through taxi, tipping and food orders as all of it is very different, from where I live.
The trip with dad was such a treat and I had such a good time. Something, that I did not expect however, was how hard it would be to change life styles so abruptly. Going from the countryside here to the biggest tourist destination in Nicaragua, is almost a bigger culture shock then when I got here. It took me awhile to get into the vacation groove, and similarly it has proven difficult to re-adujst to living here. When I got back to my house the little things that i had adjusted to re-shocked and re-surprised me. the bat poop on the floor of my house, where a bat has decided to spend it's nights on my laundry line, or people being late and cancelling appointments at the last minute without any warning. I am not sure I will ever really have a "normal" here. There is such an extreme contrast between the community lifestyle of a peace corps volunteer and the expat life style of a Peace Corps volunteer, hopefully someday my body and mind will become more able to quickly adapt to those changes.
The above picture is our resort on little corn island, and us (Dad, Ira, Evan Kira and Megan) sitting at the restaurant of the hotel playing cards and drinking.
Within a one week period I had been in the campo of Nicaragua working in my community groups where everyone understands or pretends to understand me, to the big city of Managua nervously going to medical appointments by "safe taxis" and to American looking malls with other volunteers who are in the city for one reason or another, speaking English and struggled Spanish (because no one seems to understand my Western/Countryside accent in the city), then to the airport and corn island where when I speak Spanish they reply in perfect English and i find myself feeling incredibly useless and unsure of what to do with all my free time and all the luxury and relaxation offered to me. Going from gorging on delicious American Bacon burgers to traditional gallo pinto but with an Caribbean twist of coconut oil, instead of vegetable oil. Then just when I am getting into the vacation groove of laying on the perfect white beaches tanning, reading books, not worried of what "my community may think of me?" I have to go to my In Service Training (IST) where all the agriculture volunteers from my group and the previous group are re-united and we learn about how we can improve projects, start new projects, monitor our attitudes and those of community members. When I got to the meeting, I was late because I decided to stay with the family an extra night in the hotel and enjoy one more night of tourist luxury.
When I came into the meeting all the volunteers look drained and there is a presentation going on about how to solicit funding for specific projects, such as improved ovens, stoves, and biodigestors ( I had to pay attention because I am in the midst of this same application process) but man! What a brain crunch! I sat down and tried to focus in the dimly lit conference room with yellowing walls, and fluorescent lighting running my hand through my salty hair and touching my slightly pink chest, remembering that... Yesterday, I was jumping of the dock of corn island before getting into the long boat to take us to the main island's airport, which was an incredibly small boat and there were giant towering waves of the rough ocean, we were all laughing at the roller coaster ride which was our transport to the airport- and when I got to the airport I had to rip open my back pack and quickly change into different clothes (that weren't soaking wet from the ocean). I my community I could never be so spontaneous nor so free- because it would be considered very inappropriate and unprofessional, also no one in my community can swim even though it is on a great big lake!" Yesterday, I was free as a bird and now I am sitting in a conference room trying to focus on budgets and grant applications, with salt in my hair and a giant duffle bag full of goodies from the states.
Above, my little sisters playing in the Hammock and below us all hanging out in the motel where we stayed for the conference.
During the day of the conference you had to be professional and focused but at night all the volunteers would get together and we would all laugh and chat IN ENGLISH! When the conference ended and I got back to site, it was just a real change 180 degrees. People were so shocked by my quantity of bags, and the new fridge I bought from a volunteer and had transported in taxi- everyone wanted to know what had my dad brought me, how much did it cost? How much did the fridge cost? How much did the taxi cost? would I give it to them when I was done with it after my two years of service? Basically, privacy was gone, and with all my gifts I felt very spoiled and guilty for my week of luxury coming back to my community where most of them won't spend in a year what we did in a few days...There is no magic solution to these feelings, the reality is I live every day with one foot in yesterday's luxuries and the other in a poorer reality, but wanting both groups to accept me and to connect those world's some how.
Believe it or not, the above was an attempt at a summary, the real blog entry I wanted to make was about Yesterday, where everything felt like it was going wrong, but I ended up getting to do and see things that i had not planned, and waking up the next day remember how negative I had felt yesterday but how good it seemed looking back on it.
So yesterday, I had a meeting to go see a biodigestor with my counterpart. I had seen him in the morning to confirm and he said for sure yes! When I went to his house he was not there and we did not end up leaving until two hours later. I was so annoyed and felt like the day was a total loss, but it ended up working out better than i could of imagined! He took me to a part of town I didn't even know existed and I met a family I did not know, who not only already has a biodigestor but had paid for the whole project themselves, and would like my support in getting it back up and running. We had to walk there and it was a beautiful walk, coming up on the huge lake of Apanas which turns out is only about a 30 min walk from my house, and a great place to go running, when my ankle heels up! He showed me around to the new look out they are building there and introduced me to some families that live near the lake. All of this is still considered part of my community, sisle, and a part I did not even know about! The whole walk we discussed different project ideas he had, he showed me different types of coffee and how you can tell when it is ready to harvest or when it is already past its optimal harvest time! Basically, it was just one of those really awesome moments, where I felt like I was living the dream and getting to experience something very few people would! And to think I started the say all frustrated because my Women's group cancelled on me at the last minute and I had to call the Peace Corps office and tell them that even though the reservations had already been made the women were not going to show up to the trade fair, and then I thought my community counterpart for the biodigestor project had blown me off- I had just felt so deflated and hopeless, but by the time I went to bed I was glowing from a nice healthy walk in a beautiful area, with great conversation!
above my community counterpart, and the view of the lake from the look out they just built is below
my battery is out i cant finish editing sorry i hope you all get it!
So you never do know what tomorrow will bring!
Lots of love to all
Alicia
Alicia, thanks for a snapshot of your life. What an adventure you are having! We miss you lots and send our love!
ReplyDeleteK, P, A, and K